I'll See You In My Dreams

So it's been a little while since I've posted anything. I apologize for my lack of creativity. I've recently gotten a new job which I have worked hard at becoming dedicated to and I enjoy it so much, it's been a distraction from other things. A lot has been going on in my personal life. I won't get into that. But I will say there have been moments where music came waltzing into my life like a breath of fresh air. The moments I needed it most. One song in particular I've constantly enjoyed but never got around to looking up just came to me this morning. and this is what it is... Lately, another way I've been getting my mind off things, has been becoming strangely interested in Woody Allen films. One of which I've known about for quite awhile because of my favorite band Copeland, writing a song based off one of the characters in the movie. The movie is called Stardust Memories. There's a particular scene I think about often where the main character, Sandy Bates, (a film director and comedian, played by Woody Allen himself) has just finished a business meeting in his apartment and while he deals with the frustrations of the world, he puts on Django Reinhardt and wonders off into deep contemplation. "What are you thinking about when you look out there?" you hear a woman's voice say. and he goes on to talk about how he wonders if all the suffering is worth it or not. That particular scene reminds me of the Spring. It's become Spring here. and sometimes I wonder those things to. If life is all that it's supposed to be. Today I was sitting in my car on my way home and thinking about this argument I often have with myself and God. Is there any such thing as contentment? Will I ever be truly happy? We say things like, "If only I had this..." or "If only I had that..." we get those things and in the end, we are never happy with what we get. And I wonder if any of that thinking is worth it. I wonder if there is any point in trying to be happy. Sometimes I'm not. and sometimes I get to the point, I would jump for joy when it seems like there is nothing there to be joyful about. I think what doesn't exist is NOT contentment but satisfaction. This has not been the personal issues that I've been dealing with but just something I've always thought about and wondered about. I'm still thinking about it these days. But songs like these...and of course, many others, bring me much comfort and remind me, I'm not the only one who doubts. I'm not the only one who has a troubled mind. I'm going to watch some more Woody Allen. If anyone who has seen his films, feel free to recommend some to me. So far I've seen Midnight in Paris and of course, Stardust Memories. :)