Music Matters

I think a lot of people find a sanctuary from something in life. Whether it be painting, collecting stamps, sewing, sports, whatever it may be. But for me, the most important way that I get through things is due to music. I would be no where if it were not for music. This not only applies to The Beatles. But to many artists as well. I like how well put together this was and thought I would share it.

Music Matters - The Beatles from Lee Gingold on Vimeo.

Daydream

I live in two towns. One I hardly walk through, the other one I walk through every day. One big, the other small and comfortable. Just the way I like it on some days. I almost consider the place a desert, it's so vast and empty feeling sometimes.

In the town I work in, there is more land and sky than there is places to eat or live. I can look around, see the clouds, see across the other side, breathe the air, feel the wind...some days I can't believe I ended up in such a dead end place but then again...it's comfortable. And I can be me. That's what matters, right?

This song reminds me a lot of this town. I don't think I've ever admitted that to anyone. My friend Brittany introduced me to this song. We enjoy things most other people from our area do not enjoy. Music included. I guess this song reminds me of the place because I think of how we are what seems to be the oddities in our town. The ones who turned out differently than the rest. And on my walks I can think about my life, God, my friends and family, little things, music, anything and still consider myself comfortable with the most irksome of people in my area. I am an oddity. and most people are either in awe or irked by that. take it or leave it. This country bumpkin town has enough room for a few oddities like myself. That's why I don't consider it all bad to live in this place. 

Sometimes I wish I could just reach my hands out to the winds when I get this warm feeling about how comfortable I am with this "oddity" idea. My iPod, myself and the winds are all I need to really enjoy myself on my walks. I guess the whole point of living in small towns is to always have something to dream about. For one day. I've had so much time to think lately. I'll be back to where I was soon.

The skies are vast and my heart still yearns for more. The winds are at my back, day after day. In that, I can say I am content. 

"The most intense joy lies not in the having, but in the desiring. Delight that never fades, bliss that is eternal is only yours when what you most desire is just out of reach."

-C. S. Lewis

Drops In The River

So today is Friday and it's time for the weekend. Today was relatively easy going for me, and I have been happy most of today. Getting home and just...relaxing. It's a good feeling after a long day. I've been working, singing, going to the store, doing laundry...I feel accomplished today. And I deserve it after everything...that has happened to me.

One thing I definitely deserved was what happened to me, only a few minutes ago from writing this blog. In my last blog I mentioned I wished I could go out in the rain. Well...I did :)

Today I had made strong plans to come home and play The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass on my 3DS but that wasn't the case as it sometimes pans out. I have been watching old videos of Radiohead in all their glory, singing The Bends and a few other songs until it began to rain. I had already had my MacBook hooked up to our speakers so I had been blasting music anyways. So I decided to play another song that reminded me of the rain. But it wasn't from a video game. Yet again...Fleet Foxes. They are true artists and I have become addicted to this kind truth.

My first attempt of going outside, I found the rain to be abnormally colder than I normally find it to be. I went back inside for a moment...and then I forced myself out into by running outside and almost slipping on the pavement. The combination of the music and the sound and feeling of the rain led me to stretch my arms out and bask in the rain. 

There is no other love than the love that something like the rain can give. No other comfort like the brush of the wind against my face. No other assurance than the cold, wet stone beneath my feet. 

"Allur heimurinn óskýr

nema þú stendur"

-sigur rós

Eyes On Me

It's been a long day for me today. Now it's late. and it's raining kind off hard. But I've missed it like this. I love this rain. I've needed this rain for the longest while.

The first Final Fantasy game I ever got to play was Final Fantasy VIII (8 for those who don't know Roman Numerals very well.) Of course, with many games, I have sometimes only played them for the music. Of course, I love the gameplay but the music was a HUGE plus to me. and I truly enjoyed it. I think I played it when I was 7 or 8...

Later in my early teens, I was introduced to the internet (I love technology) and I was introduced to a piano cover of Eyes On Me from the game. and I always could hear rain in my head, as a sort of way to relax me. and it did. and I'm listening to it now while it's raining. 

I wish it were a Friday night so I could run out in the rain right now and bask in the glory of it all. 

My wind chimes are also going at it tonight 

Meadowlark

Silence is an ever bitter sound to hear, even if you are alone or with people surrounding you. Either way, there's always something there to remind you of other lives and other hearts.

I've not listened to this song quite enough but from listening to it, I have come to have a strong love for the lyrics. Beautiful and remind me of better things yet to come.

With all that has happened, this song was the first one that popped up in my head for this; a friend of mine commit suicide fairly recently. I wasn't very close to him nor did I ever know him to be the kind of person to do what he did but I can tell you he was a kind hearted man and good company to be around. Everyone loved him. I was quite shattered to hear the news of what had happened. Rest in peace Randy. I dedicate this song to you and your family. You're in a better place now.

"Meadowlark, fly your way down

I hold a cornucopia and a golden crown

For you to wear upon your fleecy down

My meadowlark, sing to me

Hummingbird, just let me dive

Inside the broken ovals of your olive eyes

I do believe you gave it your best try

My hummingbird, sing to me

My hummingbird, sing to me

Don't believe a word that I haven't heard

Little children laughing at the boys and girls

The meadowlark singing to you each and every day

The arc light on the hillside and the market in the hay"

-Fleet Foxes

I Might Be Wrong

Radiohead is one of the few bands I love for their attitude. I love certain bands for different things, (all have one thing in common, the music itself.) but for Radiohead it's a plus with their attitude about not giving a f**k about anyone or anything. Honestly, I admire that. You don't see them whining about how they don't get to go back stage to see their favorite artist. (Miley Cyrus did this with Radiohead and claimed that she would "ruin them" just because they wouldn't let her come back stage to meet them. what a laugh!)

Fairly recently I just got back into Radiohead. I mostly dropped out because of my phase with Fleet Foxes was FINALLY dying out. I decided to listen to their album The Bends all the way through...and Jeebus. I have a love/hate relationship with that album.

Not only with that album but with a number of other songs on other albums have done this thing to me, where it brings back such nostalgia from the 1990's that it makes me sick to the stomach. I both love and hate this feeling. It kind of reminds me of high school. Or what my idea of high school used to be. and my God, it kills me. (Note, I was born in 1992, but for some reason I feel like I've heard some of these songs before, even in my strictly Christian home. Radiohead has been around since before I was born. The Bends came out in 1995.)

I love Radiohead. I cannot deny that. I'm still listening to a few more of their songs which I've come to love recently, like Bulletproof...I Wish I Was, The Bends, Street Spirit (Fade Out), and some others. I ordered a Radiohead T-Shirt which looks like this:

(This comes from their song Nude off their album In Rainbows. That's a good album as well) I'm pretty excited about getting to wear it. In the mean time, I'm hoping I know enough of their songs to even consider myself a real fan of theirs. I have this weird belief about how I should go about with the amount of songs I like by a band to really consider them a favorite or consider myself a fan. I just don't want to waste my time or money either. 

I'm expecting a Fleet Foxes T-Shirt as well...At the rate I'm going, I am a huge fan of them.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

As everyone knows, this song is most commonly known for being in the movie The Wizard of Oz, most famously sung by Judy Garland. I have heard many versions, many renditions of the song and it is still so very beautiful. I'm surprised that I've managed not to get so easily tired of it. I love too many versions of the song. All in all, I hold this song close to my sentimental heart.

I have had more than one memory with this song. Of course when I first saw The Wizard of Oz, I was fully aware on how great of a classic song it was and what not. If I didn't have these memories with it though, I would probably consider this song a little too mainstream for my tastes. (Then again, I like mainstream songs too.)

I can't remember which memory came first. But I'm just going to tell the ones that have recently been flashing through my mind.

I remember in 2010 when I took my first trip out of the country. I went to Australia. At the time, I was dealing with a death in my family, and I was a bit depressed. I tried to keep the depression to myself though through out the trip. I was with a group of kids so I knew no one. During the first few days of the trip, we were in Sydney, Australia. We were taken to shopping malls and market places. Those were the most interesting parts of the trip I believe. I mean, sure we went to see the Opera House and a bunch of other things there in Australia but I probably favored the market places most because I saw more culture there.

In one of the shopping malls, I was just starting to make a few new friends. We had to go in groups so I was with a few people. We went from store to store, looking at all the clothes, the souvenirs, trinkets, and much more. Very beautiful and some cutsie things. Some very elegant. I can't describe to you everything I saw. But I remember walking through a clothes store...and hearing Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's (that was quite a name to spell) version in the store. I thought..it was completely sweet. It made me feel much better for the rest of that day. Made me feel like I was not alone for once. And that I and my family were going to be okay. Even though my family and I were thousands of miles apart. 

Another memory I believe was after I had gotten home from Australia. I was so glad to be home. with my parents and being able to see my friends. I was in such a good mood long after I got home. One thing that threw me off was that I was so used to the weather in Australia (our Summer time is their Winter time, so it was Winter when I was in Australia.) I would always have to take a jacket with me to wear. I was about to go out for a walk one day and I almost looked stupid taking my jacket with me in the hot sun. I remembered I was back in America and I laughed at myself for what I had done. I went back inside and threw my jacket somewhere and left for my walk.

On that walk...I was enjoying the fact that I was home. I was overjoyed. The sun was shining on me. The wind was in my hair. I was laughing at every car that flew past me. I was overcome with the most immense joy and love for the world that I was finally smiling. I was home. I felt invincible. Nothing could keep me from this happiness.

While I was walking up to where my father works (where I work now) The Innocence Mission's version came on my iPod. I felt beautiful. I felt so happy. A deep, deep joy filled my heart. I was in love with love. 

That day was May 16th. Two years ago today. 

I will always remember that as one of the happiest days of my life.

"If happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow, why, oh why can't I?"