White Winter Hymnal

I think I might have written about this song a few months back. January. Now it's August (My, time has flown by.) So much has happened over these past few months and my love for Fleet Foxes has grown ever stronger. Now, along with Copeland (and Radiohead perhaps.) I have another band to grow along with. As the seasons change, the music I've come to hold dear will carry with it the same or a new, refreshed meaning to it. In January, White Winter Hymnal made me think of Winter. I think this Summer I have missed it. Now I am looking forward to the Autumn.

Earlier today I had was in a Fleet Foxes mood so I looked on youtube to listen to them while I worked. I came across this. And the memories of Copeland began to flood back. It was a bittersweet time for me then. And now...I'm going through another bittersweet moment. It's hard to say really...But part of all this, I've come to realize, I am turning 20 this year. 20. How did I make it this far? How did I become the woman I am today?

My birthday falls on October 7th. In Autumn. I am partly excited because I have missed the colder days (I always joke I'm a cold hearted person, for I much prefer colder weather.) That, and of course, my birthday (one more year till I'm legally allowed to drink.) This cover put me in a particularly Autumn-y mood. Plus...it was rainy today. and I like the rain. And the thought of wet leaves on the ground. There is a certain scent to it that I enjoy to smell. The combination of the rain and the smell of Fall. I miss it a great deal. Especially on my walks.

I won't go into further detail but I would love to see Copeland again. I want to see Fleet Foxes. I want to have a good time with my friends, family, and loved ones. I wonder if I can make some new memories like I did then.

Music Matters

I think a lot of people find a sanctuary from something in life. Whether it be painting, collecting stamps, sewing, sports, whatever it may be. But for me, the most important way that I get through things is due to music. I would be no where if it were not for music. This not only applies to The Beatles. But to many artists as well. I like how well put together this was and thought I would share it.

Music Matters - The Beatles from Lee Gingold on Vimeo.

Daydream

I live in two towns. One I hardly walk through, the other one I walk through every day. One big, the other small and comfortable. Just the way I like it on some days. I almost consider the place a desert, it's so vast and empty feeling sometimes.

In the town I work in, there is more land and sky than there is places to eat or live. I can look around, see the clouds, see across the other side, breathe the air, feel the wind...some days I can't believe I ended up in such a dead end place but then again...it's comfortable. And I can be me. That's what matters, right?

This song reminds me a lot of this town. I don't think I've ever admitted that to anyone. My friend Brittany introduced me to this song. We enjoy things most other people from our area do not enjoy. Music included. I guess this song reminds me of the place because I think of how we are what seems to be the oddities in our town. The ones who turned out differently than the rest. And on my walks I can think about my life, God, my friends and family, little things, music, anything and still consider myself comfortable with the most irksome of people in my area. I am an oddity. and most people are either in awe or irked by that. take it or leave it. This country bumpkin town has enough room for a few oddities like myself. That's why I don't consider it all bad to live in this place. 

Sometimes I wish I could just reach my hands out to the winds when I get this warm feeling about how comfortable I am with this "oddity" idea. My iPod, myself and the winds are all I need to really enjoy myself on my walks. I guess the whole point of living in small towns is to always have something to dream about. For one day. I've had so much time to think lately. I'll be back to where I was soon.

The skies are vast and my heart still yearns for more. The winds are at my back, day after day. In that, I can say I am content. 

"The most intense joy lies not in the having, but in the desiring. Delight that never fades, bliss that is eternal is only yours when what you most desire is just out of reach."

-C. S. Lewis

Drops In The River

So today is Friday and it's time for the weekend. Today was relatively easy going for me, and I have been happy most of today. Getting home and just...relaxing. It's a good feeling after a long day. I've been working, singing, going to the store, doing laundry...I feel accomplished today. And I deserve it after everything...that has happened to me.

One thing I definitely deserved was what happened to me, only a few minutes ago from writing this blog. In my last blog I mentioned I wished I could go out in the rain. Well...I did :)

Today I had made strong plans to come home and play The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass on my 3DS but that wasn't the case as it sometimes pans out. I have been watching old videos of Radiohead in all their glory, singing The Bends and a few other songs until it began to rain. I had already had my MacBook hooked up to our speakers so I had been blasting music anyways. So I decided to play another song that reminded me of the rain. But it wasn't from a video game. Yet again...Fleet Foxes. They are true artists and I have become addicted to this kind truth.

My first attempt of going outside, I found the rain to be abnormally colder than I normally find it to be. I went back inside for a moment...and then I forced myself out into by running outside and almost slipping on the pavement. The combination of the music and the sound and feeling of the rain led me to stretch my arms out and bask in the rain. 

There is no other love than the love that something like the rain can give. No other comfort like the brush of the wind against my face. No other assurance than the cold, wet stone beneath my feet. 

"Allur heimurinn óskýr

nema þú stendur"

-sigur rós

Eyes On Me

It's been a long day for me today. Now it's late. and it's raining kind off hard. But I've missed it like this. I love this rain. I've needed this rain for the longest while.

The first Final Fantasy game I ever got to play was Final Fantasy VIII (8 for those who don't know Roman Numerals very well.) Of course, with many games, I have sometimes only played them for the music. Of course, I love the gameplay but the music was a HUGE plus to me. and I truly enjoyed it. I think I played it when I was 7 or 8...

Later in my early teens, I was introduced to the internet (I love technology) and I was introduced to a piano cover of Eyes On Me from the game. and I always could hear rain in my head, as a sort of way to relax me. and it did. and I'm listening to it now while it's raining. 

I wish it were a Friday night so I could run out in the rain right now and bask in the glory of it all. 

My wind chimes are also going at it tonight 

Meadowlark

Silence is an ever bitter sound to hear, even if you are alone or with people surrounding you. Either way, there's always something there to remind you of other lives and other hearts.

I've not listened to this song quite enough but from listening to it, I have come to have a strong love for the lyrics. Beautiful and remind me of better things yet to come.

With all that has happened, this song was the first one that popped up in my head for this; a friend of mine commit suicide fairly recently. I wasn't very close to him nor did I ever know him to be the kind of person to do what he did but I can tell you he was a kind hearted man and good company to be around. Everyone loved him. I was quite shattered to hear the news of what had happened. Rest in peace Randy. I dedicate this song to you and your family. You're in a better place now.

"Meadowlark, fly your way down

I hold a cornucopia and a golden crown

For you to wear upon your fleecy down

My meadowlark, sing to me

Hummingbird, just let me dive

Inside the broken ovals of your olive eyes

I do believe you gave it your best try

My hummingbird, sing to me

My hummingbird, sing to me

Don't believe a word that I haven't heard

Little children laughing at the boys and girls

The meadowlark singing to you each and every day

The arc light on the hillside and the market in the hay"

-Fleet Foxes

I Might Be Wrong

Radiohead is one of the few bands I love for their attitude. I love certain bands for different things, (all have one thing in common, the music itself.) but for Radiohead it's a plus with their attitude about not giving a f**k about anyone or anything. Honestly, I admire that. You don't see them whining about how they don't get to go back stage to see their favorite artist. (Miley Cyrus did this with Radiohead and claimed that she would "ruin them" just because they wouldn't let her come back stage to meet them. what a laugh!)

Fairly recently I just got back into Radiohead. I mostly dropped out because of my phase with Fleet Foxes was FINALLY dying out. I decided to listen to their album The Bends all the way through...and Jeebus. I have a love/hate relationship with that album.

Not only with that album but with a number of other songs on other albums have done this thing to me, where it brings back such nostalgia from the 1990's that it makes me sick to the stomach. I both love and hate this feeling. It kind of reminds me of high school. Or what my idea of high school used to be. and my God, it kills me. (Note, I was born in 1992, but for some reason I feel like I've heard some of these songs before, even in my strictly Christian home. Radiohead has been around since before I was born. The Bends came out in 1995.)

I love Radiohead. I cannot deny that. I'm still listening to a few more of their songs which I've come to love recently, like Bulletproof...I Wish I Was, The Bends, Street Spirit (Fade Out), and some others. I ordered a Radiohead T-Shirt which looks like this:

(This comes from their song Nude off their album In Rainbows. That's a good album as well) I'm pretty excited about getting to wear it. In the mean time, I'm hoping I know enough of their songs to even consider myself a real fan of theirs. I have this weird belief about how I should go about with the amount of songs I like by a band to really consider them a favorite or consider myself a fan. I just don't want to waste my time or money either. 

I'm expecting a Fleet Foxes T-Shirt as well...At the rate I'm going, I am a huge fan of them.

Somewhere Over The Rainbow

As everyone knows, this song is most commonly known for being in the movie The Wizard of Oz, most famously sung by Judy Garland. I have heard many versions, many renditions of the song and it is still so very beautiful. I'm surprised that I've managed not to get so easily tired of it. I love too many versions of the song. All in all, I hold this song close to my sentimental heart.

I have had more than one memory with this song. Of course when I first saw The Wizard of Oz, I was fully aware on how great of a classic song it was and what not. If I didn't have these memories with it though, I would probably consider this song a little too mainstream for my tastes. (Then again, I like mainstream songs too.)

I can't remember which memory came first. But I'm just going to tell the ones that have recently been flashing through my mind.

I remember in 2010 when I took my first trip out of the country. I went to Australia. At the time, I was dealing with a death in my family, and I was a bit depressed. I tried to keep the depression to myself though through out the trip. I was with a group of kids so I knew no one. During the first few days of the trip, we were in Sydney, Australia. We were taken to shopping malls and market places. Those were the most interesting parts of the trip I believe. I mean, sure we went to see the Opera House and a bunch of other things there in Australia but I probably favored the market places most because I saw more culture there.

In one of the shopping malls, I was just starting to make a few new friends. We had to go in groups so I was with a few people. We went from store to store, looking at all the clothes, the souvenirs, trinkets, and much more. Very beautiful and some cutsie things. Some very elegant. I can't describe to you everything I saw. But I remember walking through a clothes store...and hearing Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's (that was quite a name to spell) version in the store. I thought..it was completely sweet. It made me feel much better for the rest of that day. Made me feel like I was not alone for once. And that I and my family were going to be okay. Even though my family and I were thousands of miles apart. 

Another memory I believe was after I had gotten home from Australia. I was so glad to be home. with my parents and being able to see my friends. I was in such a good mood long after I got home. One thing that threw me off was that I was so used to the weather in Australia (our Summer time is their Winter time, so it was Winter when I was in Australia.) I would always have to take a jacket with me to wear. I was about to go out for a walk one day and I almost looked stupid taking my jacket with me in the hot sun. I remembered I was back in America and I laughed at myself for what I had done. I went back inside and threw my jacket somewhere and left for my walk.

On that walk...I was enjoying the fact that I was home. I was overjoyed. The sun was shining on me. The wind was in my hair. I was laughing at every car that flew past me. I was overcome with the most immense joy and love for the world that I was finally smiling. I was home. I felt invincible. Nothing could keep me from this happiness.

While I was walking up to where my father works (where I work now) The Innocence Mission's version came on my iPod. I felt beautiful. I felt so happy. A deep, deep joy filled my heart. I was in love with love. 

That day was May 16th. Two years ago today. 

I will always remember that as one of the happiest days of my life.

"If happy little bluebirds fly, beyond the rainbow, why, oh why can't I?"

Three Artists, One Song

Okay, apologies for not posting anything in a long while. I get busy or I get writer's block or I just don't feel like writing. Lately it has been watching Futurama online, working, sleeping, taking walks and possibly trolling people (I have no life). ANYWHO...

I recently came across a song...I was looking for pictures of Mark Foster from Foster The People. I came across a song I had not heard and got curious. It also happened to feature Kimbra who is also known for being in Gotye's "Somebody That I Used To Know." I might blog about that song another time.

In any case, I checked out the song...and thought it was pretty awesome.



From this, I learned what the deal was, it having three artists and such. It was for Converse. "Three Artists, One Song."


Now, without realizing it, I was checking out Gorillaz the other day and came across ANOTHER "Three Artists, One Song" song. Just as awesome as well.



And of course...I just had to check out the website. and I heard this one...



I've never listened to Kid Cudi or Best Coast so this was new to me. But it has Rostam Batmanglij from Vampire Weekend. I didn't know that until after the song though. So I thought that was pretty cool.

So, let's just say, I've been listening to these three songs as if they were water to me in a hot, hot, desert. Each one having something unique to offer. I have yet to listen to anymore songs from the whole "Three Artists, One Song" deal but I've fallen in love with what I've found now.

Forgive me this isn't much of a blog, but I had to share my findings. Evidently I think one of them has been out for a while now but it's new to me. Enjoy!

I'll See You In My Dreams

So it's been a little while since I've posted anything. I apologize for my lack of creativity. I've recently gotten a new job which I have worked hard at becoming dedicated to and I enjoy it so much, it's been a distraction from other things. A lot has been going on in my personal life. I won't get into that. But I will say there have been moments where music came waltzing into my life like a breath of fresh air. The moments I needed it most. One song in particular I've constantly enjoyed but never got around to looking up just came to me this morning. and this is what it is... Lately, another way I've been getting my mind off things, has been becoming strangely interested in Woody Allen films. One of which I've known about for quite awhile because of my favorite band Copeland, writing a song based off one of the characters in the movie. The movie is called Stardust Memories. There's a particular scene I think about often where the main character, Sandy Bates, (a film director and comedian, played by Woody Allen himself) has just finished a business meeting in his apartment and while he deals with the frustrations of the world, he puts on Django Reinhardt and wonders off into deep contemplation. "What are you thinking about when you look out there?" you hear a woman's voice say. and he goes on to talk about how he wonders if all the suffering is worth it or not. That particular scene reminds me of the Spring. It's become Spring here. and sometimes I wonder those things to. If life is all that it's supposed to be. Today I was sitting in my car on my way home and thinking about this argument I often have with myself and God. Is there any such thing as contentment? Will I ever be truly happy? We say things like, "If only I had this..." or "If only I had that..." we get those things and in the end, we are never happy with what we get. And I wonder if any of that thinking is worth it. I wonder if there is any point in trying to be happy. Sometimes I'm not. and sometimes I get to the point, I would jump for joy when it seems like there is nothing there to be joyful about. I think what doesn't exist is NOT contentment but satisfaction. This has not been the personal issues that I've been dealing with but just something I've always thought about and wondered about. I'm still thinking about it these days. But songs like these...and of course, many others, bring me much comfort and remind me, I'm not the only one who doubts. I'm not the only one who has a troubled mind. I'm going to watch some more Woody Allen. If anyone who has seen his films, feel free to recommend some to me. So far I've seen Midnight in Paris and of course, Stardust Memories. :)

Down, Set, Go!

Okay...so while it's been awhile since I've listened to heavy metal/screamo, the like and whatnot, I have suddenly come to have a craving for it. I haven't listened to heavy stuff since I was like 15. I used to be an avid fan of bands like Underoath, Showbread, Emery...probably some others I'm forgetting. Here's some Underoath.



While this is probably not very hipstery, I do enjoy it. I am not really by definition a hipster. But I do listen to a large quantity of musc that most people, especially in this area, have never heard of.

ANYWHO

This song...I somehow became obsessed with for a line in it that I simply adored for it's truth.
"Let's forget all pretense of what they thought we should be; what liars we can be."

I took a fond interest in Underoath, all by accident. My parents first heard them and thought them to be maniacs who couldn't sing and you couldn't understand the words. I never did either but somehow, I became attracted to the sound. It grew on me. First song by them I came to love was "It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door." I could obviously see it was a Lord of the Rings quote. But very clever I thought. and it was partly because of Underoath...that I began to write poetry. Probably not the best poetry in the world but it was poetry. Like them, I thought I could come up with random titles for my poems and think it was "creative." I cannot recall the poem itself (I still have it somewhere in my files, I'm just too stubborn to look it up) called "There are dead people in the graveyard." For some stupid reason, I found this to be a unique title and called myself a writer. I have since then stepped up a notch (not as far as you would think of a writer) but I'm not as stupid as I once was. Still am, just not as much.

I grew to love more and more of their songs and eventually, bought several of their albums. Two of their albums I have come to love and love almost every once of the songs on those two albums. (They're Only Chasing Safety) and Define the Great Line.

Now where I've not listened to them since I was 15 (rarely do I listen to them anymore) It's been interesting to hear the news of what all has happened to them, such as when Aaron Gillespie left the band to continue with his own band The Almost. As much as The Almsot is a good band and all, I was disappointed to hear he left and never really listened to them after that. The Almost is okay now but too naive for me. If you don't get what I mean by that, well then, don't get me started. I've gone to church long enough to know how really stupid most Christians can get. I love Aaron Gillespie. I think he's hot and all. Great voice and drumming skills. But he's gotten too Christian for my tastes.

I still love their old songs and I love The Almost's Southern Weather album. Other than that, I've not listened to any of their new stuff. It is just nice to go back and listen to some old music I was once a hardcore fan of.

Here Comes Your Man

With the talk about tornados and everyone freaking out about their lives and such, I've been enjoying everything I've seen. I know I'm the oddball in the large quantity of people in my area but I have my reasons for why I enjoy this kind of weather. While everyone is scared...I've become quite excited. It's dangerous. and I like it. and it reminds me of a story of a song about earthquakes.



I first heard this song in 500 Days of Summer. Tom Hansen sings it at a karaoke bar in the movie. I adored his rendition and of course had to check out the original version for myself. I can't recall if i liked the Pixies version at first or not but I do love it now. the one I first heard was Meaghan Smith's rendition of it. Soft, sweet, cute. but noting like the Pixies.

I later on became kind of fascinated by the lyrics of the song and decided to check out a little bit of it's background. Of course, like any noob of the internet, I went to wikipedia to see what it had to say. It may or may not be a true story but from what it says, it reminds me of my current situation with this tornado.

Black Francis, frontman of The Pixies and writer of the song itself, says this in an interview about the song.
"I've been through a few earthquakes, actually, 'cause I grew up in California. I was only in one big one, in 1971. I was very young and I slept through it. I've been awake through lots of small ones at school and at home. It's very exciting actually—a very comical thing. It's like the earth is shaking, and what can you do? Nothing."

So there you have it. One piece of trivia I like so well from music. And while earthquakes and tornados differ in many ways they have one thing in common; they are dangerous. So..enjoy the tornado. :)

Polish Girl

Ever been filled with a strong emotion to the point you calmed down so much, you totally forgot everything? For a split second? and it made you feel mellow and easy going for awhile? Everything that made you glad, mad, sad, suddenly all switched around and it was like you were in love with life itself. Or the very song that took you into a trance like what happened to me.



My friend Brittany came over for the first time in what seems like a long time. We've played Wii Fit, Animal Crossing: City Folk, and talked and laughed all day. We bought Monster energy drinks and bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos and Funnyons and a numerous amount of other junk food. Towards the end of the night, we were both very tired but she shared with me a band I had never heard of. Neon Indian.

She sat on my MacBook while I sat, lazily, staring at my scarecrow owl I had brought into the living room. His name is Jorge. While I listened to this music Brittany was looking up, I stared at Jorge in a trance. He was moving. Almost. He wasn't really but I forgot everything and everyone while staring at this plastic owl. This music took me into a trance I want back in. I was falling with the music. I was transcending into another realm almost. I was not here. Mind you, I was very tired and had by then drunk two Monster drinks. I think it was shortly after we went to bed but I was in the music. I was there with it. It was dancing with my mind. Almost whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Almost...seducing me. Not in a "bad boy" way either. Coming up from behind me, holding my waste, and breathing on my neck, kind of seducing. Catching me while I fall and fall and fall, deeper and deeper and deeper into this wonderful abyss of music. Chills go through me every time I think about this sensation.

Jealous Guy

Lately the Beatles have been on my mind. Even when they went on to be on their own, it's been particularly strange to think they separated and began to suck. With the exception with a few actually good songs. Such as this one.



Now other than playing Twilight Princess and apologizing to all the innocent chickens (cocaos or whatever if you get techinical about Zelda) and start singing off key "I didn't mean to hurt you!" This is a beautiful song in it's entirety.

The first time I heard this song, I remember I was sitting in the back of my dad's scion when he was taking me to my mother's one night. He had taken out the front seat so he could clean it, so there was no way I could sit in the front, unless I had sat on the floor of the car. Dangerous. Anywho, my dad was playing John Lennon's Imagine album which at the time, I had never gotten to listen to so this was an opportunity for me. I had only heard Imagine so you can Imagine what it must have been like for me to hear some of the other songs (see what I did there? no, wait...nevermind...) Some of the songs were okay. I don't remember them. But then Jealous Guy came on.

I can't remember if there were any tears shed or not that night. But I do remember feeling a great deal of sadness and heartbreak. Feeling it for my family who have been through hardships and heartbreaks of heir own, my friends and their heartbreaks and lastly....my own. It was then I saw why and how beautiful this song really was.

Tonight I feel a bit sad and down. And I listened to this song. and in a way...it reassures me that I wasn't the only one who made a foolish mistake in a relationship, ya know? John wasn't the best husband to begin with and wasn't the best father but even though this is to his second wife Yoko, he was making up for what he did, admitting his mistakes. This is the sort of thing every man ought to do. But it's not only the men who are guilty. Women are too. I am too.

So...
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I'm sorry that I made you cry.
I didn't want to hurt you.
I'm just a jealous girl.

If you could ever find it in your heart to understand I'm just going through some emotions right now, I'm truly sorry. I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. You are my best friend, and I have come to realize, I don't think I could live without you. I could never, ever hate you. You are and always will be, Sweetness to me.
Debbie

VCR

It's February. I've been sick. Sinus infection or allergies, cold or flu, I don't know and I don't really care. I just want to get better. I've been feeling miserable.





A few days ago I arrived at my mom's house early in the morning. My mom had gone to work and her husband was asleep in bed. I was left to go to sleep or browse the internet, whatever my choice. I was feeling miserable. I was in a worse stage of my feeling like crap so I mostly wanted to sleep. I couldn't though. I was kind of hungry.

As always, my mother never really has things I find appetizing. I don't mean to be picky but come on, tv dinners? stupid health beneficial drinks? chocolate breakfast bars? No thank you. (yes, I skip on on the chocolate. actually those bars in particular hurt my teeth. they are hard to chew.)

Finding nothing and kind of disappointed, I turned to my refrigerator like most hopeless, idiots do when they think food will suddenly appear there. There was something however that I missed the first time that I checked it. A box of strawberries. Deep, red and so sweet looking. "I think I'll have one and head to bed." I took the box and opened it, got the most delicious one I spotted and washed it and took a bite. The sweetness of this strawberry made me feel so alive. Better than I had been. I didn't go to bed like I said. I took another strawberry and had more of these scrumptious beauties. They brought me so much comfort that I needed. and then I went to bed. and I slept, a restful sleep. Since then whenever I was feeling cruddy, I went downstairs and got me a few strawberries to make me feel better.

Lately I've been getting into this band called The Xx. and this song got in my head tonight. I kind of need a little bit of hope. a little bit of comfort. I want more strawberries. Tonight, this is my strawberry. This song kind of brings me the same feeling of relief and comfort that I needed that one morning. I didn't expect this but...for now, I need a strawberry.

They are so beautiful.

I'ma Fucking Hipster.

For shits and giggles...


Thanks for the reminder Google...

Secular vs. Christian

I will start out by saying, I grew up in a Christian home. My dad was the pastor and praise & worship leader of the church we attended. So fairly speaking, I was under strict rules. Including all my music strictly be by Christian artists. Examples of the artists I was allowed to listen to (Christian artists, that is.) are listed here:

DC Talk
Phil Keaggy
Jon Gibson
Rebecca St. James
Third Day
Tobymac
Tait
Newsboys
Delirious?
Far From Home
Sixpence None The Richer
Sonicflood
and a bunch more.

There was a time in my life...where I was briefly introduced to secular music but covers in such a way they were made Christian. the words changed around to make it "clean" for young children. Hallelujah Hop was a collection of Christian, clean covers of secular songs. One of them introduced the first Beatles song I remember. "Help, I need somebody! Help! Not just anybody! Help! You know I need someone! Help!" Makes sense, right?

Later on I was told that my parents used to sing Beatles songs to me when I was just a baby. "Golden Slumbers" was one of their favorites. They had a tape that had mellowed down versions of the songs that they would sing to me. From all that I know, this is about most of the secular music I ever got.

Switching over to a different time period, some years after we moved to Virginia, my parents got Sky Angel, a Christian Television network that showed mostly clean tv. (when I say mostly, they sometimes aired things you never thought would end up on there, like Welcome Back, Kotter.) This is where I was introduced to most of the bands I know of today. Some I still listen to. Others I've grown a strong hatred for.

There were two Music television channels. Spirit Television Network and TVU Music Television. Spirit was the clean cut artists, Christian contemporary, no screamo or indie artists. They mostly showed the artists I hate. here they are for ya;

Casting Crowns
Jeremy Camp
Chris Tomlin
Third Day
Bethany Dillion
Natalie Grant
Amy Grant
Michael W. Smith
Plus One
Avalon
Building 429
MercyMe
Point of Grace
ZOEgirl

Probably there are some others. but these are the ones that irk me the most. You want to know why? Some just look like the rich ass moms who go sing about how we need to change the world and send food to all these starving kids and yet they have all the money to get the make up they wear and the clothes they wear. Then, (my favorite hatred of them to rant about) is that most of the people we went to church with at one point, LOVED Casting Crowns and some of those others. They not only wore them out on me, they inflicted it on me like it was cool. They kept asking me "Oh why don't you ever listen to something normal like Casting Crowns, they're so good and they love the Lord" and yadah yadah. Seriously, I don't care how much they love the Lord, they are NOT good artists and maybe I would like them more if you didn't WEAR THEM OUT ON ME.

and my last reason...which is my part of my main topic I'm trying to get to here. None of them are so creative enough that they keep my interest long enough. I know Chris Tomlin does NOT write his own songs. And that worries me. because you'd think that if he is considered an "artist" they would be writing their own songs. Yeah, sure your voice is great, you can glorify the Lord with that but come on. You're only an artist because it's part of the Christian face that people put on. So that you'll look good and supposedly make Christianity itself look good. and rich. and clean. You know, I honestly gave some of you artists a listen awhile back. and even I could see how tired and how, almost unhappy all of them are. They're not creating music. They're being forced into this by the Christian labels. There is no creativity in the Christian music industry. and that is why, it's getting nowhere and the music is getting old and it's all the same. (and to you Christians out there who read this, don't think for a minute that I haven't heard the songs you all listen to these days. Trust me, I've heard, I've seen, I know. I'm not stupid.)

Now...switching back to when I had television...the other channel was TVU Music Television. This is where I first heard of Copeland. and a long list of other bands. Some were more or less considered Christian Contemporary and others...well, others were not what I expected. Even my parents thought most of the bands on there were NOT Christian. Because of the way they dressed or sang or some of the graphicness in their videos. Here are some examples of the bands on TVU;

Copeland (Indie rock)
Showbread (raw rock/screamo)
As I Lay Dying (metal/screamo)
12 Stones (heavy rock)
Underoath (screamo/metal)
Switchfoot (rock)
Deas Vail (indie rock)
Maylene & The Sons of Disaster (screamo/metal)
Falling Up (techno/rock)
Between The Trees (punk rock/indie rock)
Anberlin (punk rock/indie rock)
Hawk Nelson (punk)
Flyleaf (metal/screamo/rock)
KJ-52 (hip-hop)
and tons more

Now some of these...are questionable. Some you would've never thought they were Christian. And mostly, the music isn't considered Christian. I have heard some bands specify how they did NOT want to be considered a Christian band. Because they write to create music. If someone is lead to Christ by it, then by all means cool but for the most part, they do what they do and do it because it's their art, their trade, they enjoy what they do. They aren't putting on a face for the people. They are real. Now my parents liked to always talk back and say things like, "Well, spreading the word isn't offensive and if you're really Christian then you would spread the word and not be ashamed." It is not a matter of shame. It is a matter of caring. Some people have chosen the way they are going to go and that's it. They may change their minds later but that's up to them. Not you. So don't press it. Please.

One of the things my parents always thought was very un-Christian was this video of Showbread.


Guys wearing make-up. Nail polish. screaming. Moving their hips, looking suggestive. I remember this one struck out to them because they never thought I would like it. Of course, growing up in a strict family, of course I'll be attracted to some form of rebellion. Of course, now I don't like them as much as I did then but they do rank in my "underground" bands. I met one of my best friends because of them. (I'd also like to point out, that while I'm trying to think up for the next paragraph, I'm rocking out to this song, with my fist in the air. Good times...)

Now things have changed. my parents rules have mellowed out and even when I was still under their rule, I was allowed to listen to new bands. Because of TVU introducing me to new ideas and music and thanks to the internet and my friends I've heard of these bands since...

Fleet Foxes
My Chemical Romance
Foster The People
Gorillaz
Radiohead
The Smiths
Blur
Arctic Monkeys
Michael Jackson (I didn't know who he was till high school.)
The Almost
Anchor & Braille
The River Empires
Sigur Ros
BJork
The Black Keys
Cage The Elephant
The White Stripes
Daft Punk
Doves
Feist
The Kills
Owl City
The Pixies
Regina Spektor
Simon & Garfunkel
She & Him
...and the list goes on and on. and is still going on. always will until I die.

So what I wanted to write this blog to say was...Secular music is creative. There is sound to it. no mask or fake-face. the real deal. it's down to the nitty gritty. and Christians, there are reasons why you're music isn't great. It's not a matter about it being offensive (in some cases, at least not for me really. Not in the sense these songs talk about God.) it's a matter of whether the lyrics get to you or not, in that good way when you can relate. I know of very few Christian people, also artists, who actually can do that. Can make good, creative music and still have some human meaning in the lyrics and still yet some praise. But I am sorry, Chris Tomlin, Casting Crowns...no. never. they are not creative, do not sound that good, and Tomlin doesn't even write his own songs. If you want honest artists, LOOK FOR THEM. No, they are not going to be Christians half the time. But I've found a ton of real artists with real passion. that's why I'm so hipster. Because they are underground. Consider them dirty, and I've been digging for this gem in my life, and it's called..."_____" Fill in the blank. Copeland, Fleet Foxes, Foster The People, Radiohead, name some bands that means something to you because they have real lyrics. I have this gem encrusted in my life and how happy I am, thank you.

To put it simply, I think that you can glorify God, even with secular music. Love songs for example. Isn't the church the bride and God the groom and all that? Get down with God to some Marvin Gaye or The Beatles. Even if the artists are or aren't into God or Jesus, they can still glorify God with the music they make because God did give them the talent, therefore we may enjoy it ourselves. It's not a sin to enjoy what God placed on this earth, is it?

Instead of ranting on and on about how I think Christian music basically sucks and that my "underground" music is way better, this is how I'll end it. If you Christians keep thinking my music sucks and then you get offended because I think yours sucks, psht, oh well. How do you think I feel? (Actually I'll be glad you don't like some of the bands I like because you Christians tend to make everything mainstream and I wouldn't want that to happen, hmm?) But it is nice when you come across someone who listens to the same band as you (who doesn't wear it out) and you can say, "Oh, you've heard them too?" Wouldn't it be a satisfying feeling to know that what you were digging for was the most valuable gem in your whole collection? and that you can share these gems with a friend? (and to you Christians, no your music is not a real gem. It's those pieces of plastic they put in fake jewelry for kids. That's how cheap and terrible it is.)

Also, I have nothing against Christians. Just their religious ways. and their music obviously. I'm a Universalist (I believe in God, Jesus, the Holy Ghost and all that. But I don't like being called a Christian. too mainstream.) and I still listen to some of those Christian bands I listened to back then. Every once in awhile. I am very selective on what I listen to now. Ask my friends and they'll tell you I have to be in a certain mood to listen to anything new.

Anywho, just wanted to rant and talk about my thoughts on the whole creativity side to secular music. I hope I made my point clear and that someone will see my side of things.

White Winter Hymnal

January. It's coming close to an end. I don't want it to but we all know that, as time passes, so do the months. My favorite color is passing by too soon.




Along with Copeland I've experienced a great deal of peace this month thanks to this beautifully put song. Talk of red scarves, red strawberries. One of those things, it reminds you of better days to come which makes your current day the best. January being both hopeful and dull, like red and grey. this is how I perceive the connection of January and my favorite colors. That and of course what I mentioned in my Copeland blog.

This song in particular, when it would snow...I would walk out of my house in the middle of the night just to watch it fall. And I would sing this song to myself as I watched the beautiful flakes fall from the sky. Also to think that...I love strawberries. They are sweet, juicy...and refreshing. And then there's scarves...I love wearing scarves. I own a red one. I find the connection with these to be outstanding in a way that I must share. I am not a crazed fan (like Mark David Chapman was.) but I do find it crazy that the lyrics match with something I own up to.

This season, I've had the chance to enjoy it. in the past, it has always been a dull, depressing season. Now I can find beauty in it again. I think what made it so depressing was school. But now instead of focusing on school, I'm focusing on the beauty around me. It's amazing. Try it sometime.

Eat, Sleep, Repeat.

January has always been a melancholy/beautiful month for me. The melancholy side comes from how dead the season is. brownish grass, no leaves on the trees, cold air, cloudy skies. The way it is meaningful, however...is the part I will be speaking of.

Christmas 2006 was an odd Christmas for me and my family. We knew what we had, but we were not allowed to have use of our things till Christmas Day. I, at the time, only got cds. One of them being one of Copeland's albums, Eat, Sleep, Repeat.

I had a bunch of cds I received for Christmas, so choosing which one to listen to first was a hard choice. I think I saved Copeland for last because I was scared I wouldn't like it. I've been disappointed with bands before. and this was long before they became my favorite band. I think that Christmas I got Edison Glass, Sanctus Real, Emery and probably some other albums. I can't really remember.

Copeland I saved for January. After the new year. I think it was either the 2nd or 3rd, I finally opened the case. It was an interesting case. My first, ever, (I believe) where it was artisticly made to be opened the way it was made.



You opened where the people were, turning the flaps until you saw a booklet with a grey house in it. (It is because of this album grey and red are my two favorite colors.) I put the cd in my portable cd player (no, I did not have an iPod at the time. I didn't even know what one was until the next year actually.) and listened to it. I remember I had a policy that whenever I liked more than 2 or 3 songs by a band, I would get their album. WIth Copeland, the first album I got was In Motion. Of course, I fell in love with the entire album. When I got Eat, Sleep, Repeat, I was afraid I wasn't going to like what I heard. I was proven wrong (yet again.)

I didn't hate what I heard at first. But I listened to it. again. and again. and I made a habit of putting it in my cd player to listen to on my way to church, every Sunday morning. and it thus became my, "Sunday Album." From the first song, to the last song, I listened to it all the way through. This album made me feel less dead inside. With it being cold and dull in the Winter season, my heart has always been heavy with melancholy. This album made me think of Spring, in a way. The leaves suddenly growing on the trees. Flowers blooming. Birds singing. This album made me come alive. and like In Motion, it brought back memories from my childhood.



"It occurred to me at once that love gets everything it asks for, like a young girl picking flowers in the lawn. She gets every kiss and tear, she gets every smile and fear but still, she never finds the last of them is gone."

When I was younger, I used to find my escape outside. There was a particular flower bush, up a hill behind my house, that I'd rip the petals off and throw them in the air. I wanted it to be like in the movies when you saw someone get married or celebrate something when petals are falling everywhere. I laughed and giggled and had so much fun with those flower petals.

I have many more memories with this album. and with their other albums. But I think the one thing I treasure most about this album is that I thought fondly about sitting on my roof, outside my window and watch the sunrise. Every morning whenever my parents and I would get ready to leave for church, I'd breathe the cold air in and look towards the east to see, always, the most beautiful of sunrises. As I'd get in my frosted car and ride away with my parents, I'd begin this album and sometimes look behind us at the sun. And looking at how it shown light on everything else surrounding us. This...made the cold bring me hope. I adore this feeling. and this is why I love January now.

For Sentimental Reasons

I've not written in awhile. So I thought I'd share a song I have been listening to quite a lot lately.



I remember when I first heard of this song. I was sitting in my dad's room while he was getting ready for something in the bathroom. He had the radio on and I remember listening to these two old men with their banter about the good ol' days and such in music history. And then...they played this song.

I heard it and knew who it was immediately. But didn't know the song. I'm very good at recognizing artists. Even if I haven't heard the song before. And I had always loved Nat King Cole ever since I first heard him sing L-O-V-E. I quickly looked up what lyrics I could pick up from the song...and fell in love. I cried when I read the lyrics.

I distinctly remember looking up the song and this being the first picture of Nat King Cole I saw. I have this thing where a certain song will remind me of a particular thing, person, movie, picture, etc. This is what pops in my mind when I think of Nat singing the song.



I have heard many renditions of the song. But none of them, absolutely none of them compare to the beauty and strength and love that Nat King Cole puts into this one. He has two versions. This is the better one I think. I love most of the versions I've heard but again...this one beats them all.

What is a huge joy and surprise to me to this day, is the fact that I have this particular version on vinyl. Whenever I start up my turntable, this vinyl is one of the first ones I'll put on. It's incredibly peaceful and comforting. and most of all, sentimental and lovely.

This is by far the most romantic song I have ever heard in my entire life. Probably my favorite love song of all time. I don't think anyone understands the connection I have with this song. I still cry when I listen to it.

Top 20 Songs I Learned About During the year 2011

*note: Most of these songs were NOT written or produced during the year 2011, I am merely talking about the songs I finally heard for the first time and began liking during the year 2011.