Monday, April 2, 2012
I'll See You In My Dreams
So it's been a little while since I've posted anything. I apologize for my lack of creativity. I've recently gotten a new job which I have worked hard at becoming dedicated to and I enjoy it so much, it's been a distraction from other things. A lot has been going on in my personal life. I won't get into that. But I will say there have been moments where music came waltzing into my life like a breath of fresh air. The moments I needed it most. One song in particular I've constantly enjoyed but never got around to looking up just came to me this morning. and this is what it is...
Lately, another way I've been getting my mind off things, has been becoming strangely interested in Woody Allen films. One of which I've known about for quite awhile because of my favorite band Copeland, writing a song based off one of the characters in the movie. The movie is called Stardust Memories. There's a particular scene I think about often where the main character, Sandy Bates, (a film director and comedian, played by Woody Allen himself) has just finished a business meeting in his apartment and while he deals with the frustrations of the world, he puts on Django Reinhardt and wonders off into deep contemplation. "What are you thinking about when you look out there?" you hear a woman's voice say. and he goes on to talk about how he wonders if all the suffering is worth it or not.
That particular scene reminds me of the Spring. It's become Spring here. and sometimes I wonder those things to. If life is all that it's supposed to be. Today I was sitting in my car on my way home and thinking about this argument I often have with myself and God. Is there any such thing as contentment? Will I ever be truly happy? We say things like, "If only I had this..." or "If only I had that..." we get those things and in the end, we are never happy with what we get. And I wonder if any of that thinking is worth it. I wonder if there is any point in trying to be happy. Sometimes I'm not. and sometimes I get to the point, I would jump for joy when it seems like there is nothing there to be joyful about. I think what doesn't exist is NOT contentment but satisfaction.
This has not been the personal issues that I've been dealing with but just something I've always thought about and wondered about. I'm still thinking about it these days. But songs like these...and of course, many others, bring me much comfort and remind me, I'm not the only one who doubts. I'm not the only one who has a troubled mind.
I'm going to watch some more Woody Allen. If anyone who has seen his films, feel free to recommend some to me. So far I've seen Midnight in Paris and of course, Stardust Memories. :)
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Down, Set, Go!
Okay...so while it's been awhile since I've listened to heavy metal/screamo, the like and whatnot, I have suddenly come to have a craving for it. I haven't listened to heavy stuff since I was like 15. I used to be an avid fan of bands like Underoath, Showbread, Emery...probably some others I'm forgetting. Here's some Underoath.
While this is probably not very hipstery, I do enjoy it. I am not really by definition a hipster. But I do listen to a large quantity of musc that most people, especially in this area, have never heard of.
ANYWHO
This song...I somehow became obsessed with for a line in it that I simply adored for it's truth.
"Let's forget all pretense of what they thought we should be; what liars we can be."
I took a fond interest in Underoath, all by accident. My parents first heard them and thought them to be maniacs who couldn't sing and you couldn't understand the words. I never did either but somehow, I became attracted to the sound. It grew on me. First song by them I came to love was "It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door." I could obviously see it was a Lord of the Rings quote. But very clever I thought. and it was partly because of Underoath...that I began to write poetry. Probably not the best poetry in the world but it was poetry. Like them, I thought I could come up with random titles for my poems and think it was "creative." I cannot recall the poem itself (I still have it somewhere in my files, I'm just too stubborn to look it up) called "There are dead people in the graveyard." For some stupid reason, I found this to be a unique title and called myself a writer. I have since then stepped up a notch (not as far as you would think of a writer) but I'm not as stupid as I once was. Still am, just not as much.
I grew to love more and more of their songs and eventually, bought several of their albums. Two of their albums I have come to love and love almost every once of the songs on those two albums. (They're Only Chasing Safety) and Define the Great Line.
Now where I've not listened to them since I was 15 (rarely do I listen to them anymore) It's been interesting to hear the news of what all has happened to them, such as when Aaron Gillespie left the band to continue with his own band The Almost. As much as The Almsot is a good band and all, I was disappointed to hear he left and never really listened to them after that. The Almost is okay now but too naive for me. If you don't get what I mean by that, well then, don't get me started. I've gone to church long enough to know how really stupid most Christians can get. I love Aaron Gillespie. I think he's hot and all. Great voice and drumming skills. But he's gotten too Christian for my tastes.
I still love their old songs and I love The Almost's Southern Weather album. Other than that, I've not listened to any of their new stuff. It is just nice to go back and listen to some old music I was once a hardcore fan of.
While this is probably not very hipstery, I do enjoy it. I am not really by definition a hipster. But I do listen to a large quantity of musc that most people, especially in this area, have never heard of.
ANYWHO
This song...I somehow became obsessed with for a line in it that I simply adored for it's truth.
"Let's forget all pretense of what they thought we should be; what liars we can be."
I took a fond interest in Underoath, all by accident. My parents first heard them and thought them to be maniacs who couldn't sing and you couldn't understand the words. I never did either but somehow, I became attracted to the sound. It grew on me. First song by them I came to love was "It's Dangerous Business Walking Out Your Front Door." I could obviously see it was a Lord of the Rings quote. But very clever I thought. and it was partly because of Underoath...that I began to write poetry. Probably not the best poetry in the world but it was poetry. Like them, I thought I could come up with random titles for my poems and think it was "creative." I cannot recall the poem itself (I still have it somewhere in my files, I'm just too stubborn to look it up) called "There are dead people in the graveyard." For some stupid reason, I found this to be a unique title and called myself a writer. I have since then stepped up a notch (not as far as you would think of a writer) but I'm not as stupid as I once was. Still am, just not as much.
I grew to love more and more of their songs and eventually, bought several of their albums. Two of their albums I have come to love and love almost every once of the songs on those two albums. (They're Only Chasing Safety) and Define the Great Line.
Now where I've not listened to them since I was 15 (rarely do I listen to them anymore) It's been interesting to hear the news of what all has happened to them, such as when Aaron Gillespie left the band to continue with his own band The Almost. As much as The Almsot is a good band and all, I was disappointed to hear he left and never really listened to them after that. The Almost is okay now but too naive for me. If you don't get what I mean by that, well then, don't get me started. I've gone to church long enough to know how really stupid most Christians can get. I love Aaron Gillespie. I think he's hot and all. Great voice and drumming skills. But he's gotten too Christian for my tastes.
I still love their old songs and I love The Almost's Southern Weather album. Other than that, I've not listened to any of their new stuff. It is just nice to go back and listen to some old music I was once a hardcore fan of.
Friday, March 2, 2012
Here Comes Your Man
With the talk about tornados and everyone freaking out about their lives and such, I've been enjoying everything I've seen. I know I'm the oddball in the large quantity of people in my area but I have my reasons for why I enjoy this kind of weather. While everyone is scared...I've become quite excited. It's dangerous. and I like it. and it reminds me of a story of a song about earthquakes.
I first heard this song in 500 Days of Summer. Tom Hansen sings it at a karaoke bar in the movie. I adored his rendition and of course had to check out the original version for myself. I can't recall if i liked the Pixies version at first or not but I do love it now. the one I first heard was Meaghan Smith's rendition of it. Soft, sweet, cute. but noting like the Pixies.
I later on became kind of fascinated by the lyrics of the song and decided to check out a little bit of it's background. Of course, like any noob of the internet, I went to wikipedia to see what it had to say. It may or may not be a true story but from what it says, it reminds me of my current situation with this tornado.
Black Francis, frontman of The Pixies and writer of the song itself, says this in an interview about the song.
"I've been through a few earthquakes, actually, 'cause I grew up in California. I was only in one big one, in 1971. I was very young and I slept through it. I've been awake through lots of small ones at school and at home. It's very exciting actually—a very comical thing. It's like the earth is shaking, and what can you do? Nothing."
So there you have it. One piece of trivia I like so well from music. And while earthquakes and tornados differ in many ways they have one thing in common; they are dangerous. So..enjoy the tornado. :)
I first heard this song in 500 Days of Summer. Tom Hansen sings it at a karaoke bar in the movie. I adored his rendition and of course had to check out the original version for myself. I can't recall if i liked the Pixies version at first or not but I do love it now. the one I first heard was Meaghan Smith's rendition of it. Soft, sweet, cute. but noting like the Pixies.
I later on became kind of fascinated by the lyrics of the song and decided to check out a little bit of it's background. Of course, like any noob of the internet, I went to wikipedia to see what it had to say. It may or may not be a true story but from what it says, it reminds me of my current situation with this tornado.
Black Francis, frontman of The Pixies and writer of the song itself, says this in an interview about the song.
"I've been through a few earthquakes, actually, 'cause I grew up in California. I was only in one big one, in 1971. I was very young and I slept through it. I've been awake through lots of small ones at school and at home. It's very exciting actually—a very comical thing. It's like the earth is shaking, and what can you do? Nothing."
So there you have it. One piece of trivia I like so well from music. And while earthquakes and tornados differ in many ways they have one thing in common; they are dangerous. So..enjoy the tornado. :)
Saturday, February 25, 2012
Polish Girl
Ever been filled with a strong emotion to the point you calmed down so much, you totally forgot everything? For a split second? and it made you feel mellow and easy going for awhile? Everything that made you glad, mad, sad, suddenly all switched around and it was like you were in love with life itself. Or the very song that took you into a trance like what happened to me.
My friend Brittany came over for the first time in what seems like a long time. We've played Wii Fit, Animal Crossing: City Folk, and talked and laughed all day. We bought Monster energy drinks and bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos and Funnyons and a numerous amount of other junk food. Towards the end of the night, we were both very tired but she shared with me a band I had never heard of. Neon Indian.
She sat on my MacBook while I sat, lazily, staring at my scarecrow owl I had brought into the living room. His name is Jorge. While I listened to this music Brittany was looking up, I stared at Jorge in a trance. He was moving. Almost. He wasn't really but I forgot everything and everyone while staring at this plastic owl. This music took me into a trance I want back in. I was falling with the music. I was transcending into another realm almost. I was not here. Mind you, I was very tired and had by then drunk two Monster drinks. I think it was shortly after we went to bed but I was in the music. I was there with it. It was dancing with my mind. Almost whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
Almost...seducing me. Not in a "bad boy" way either. Coming up from behind me, holding my waste, and breathing on my neck, kind of seducing. Catching me while I fall and fall and fall, deeper and deeper and deeper into this wonderful abyss of music. Chills go through me every time I think about this sensation.
My friend Brittany came over for the first time in what seems like a long time. We've played Wii Fit, Animal Crossing: City Folk, and talked and laughed all day. We bought Monster energy drinks and bags of Flamin' Hot Cheetos and Funnyons and a numerous amount of other junk food. Towards the end of the night, we were both very tired but she shared with me a band I had never heard of. Neon Indian.
She sat on my MacBook while I sat, lazily, staring at my scarecrow owl I had brought into the living room. His name is Jorge. While I listened to this music Brittany was looking up, I stared at Jorge in a trance. He was moving. Almost. He wasn't really but I forgot everything and everyone while staring at this plastic owl. This music took me into a trance I want back in. I was falling with the music. I was transcending into another realm almost. I was not here. Mind you, I was very tired and had by then drunk two Monster drinks. I think it was shortly after we went to bed but I was in the music. I was there with it. It was dancing with my mind. Almost whispering sweet nothings in my ear.
Almost...seducing me. Not in a "bad boy" way either. Coming up from behind me, holding my waste, and breathing on my neck, kind of seducing. Catching me while I fall and fall and fall, deeper and deeper and deeper into this wonderful abyss of music. Chills go through me every time I think about this sensation.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Jealous Guy
Lately the Beatles have been on my mind. Even when they went on to be on their own, it's been particularly strange to think they separated and began to suck. With the exception with a few actually good songs. Such as this one.
Now other than playing Twilight Princess and apologizing to all the innocent chickens (cocaos or whatever if you get techinical about Zelda) and start singing off key "I didn't mean to hurt you!" This is a beautiful song in it's entirety.
The first time I heard this song, I remember I was sitting in the back of my dad's scion when he was taking me to my mother's one night. He had taken out the front seat so he could clean it, so there was no way I could sit in the front, unless I had sat on the floor of the car. Dangerous. Anywho, my dad was playing John Lennon's Imagine album which at the time, I had never gotten to listen to so this was an opportunity for me. I had only heard Imagine so you can Imagine what it must have been like for me to hear some of the other songs (see what I did there? no, wait...nevermind...) Some of the songs were okay. I don't remember them. But then Jealous Guy came on.
I can't remember if there were any tears shed or not that night. But I do remember feeling a great deal of sadness and heartbreak. Feeling it for my family who have been through hardships and heartbreaks of heir own, my friends and their heartbreaks and lastly....my own. It was then I saw why and how beautiful this song really was.
Tonight I feel a bit sad and down. And I listened to this song. and in a way...it reassures me that I wasn't the only one who made a foolish mistake in a relationship, ya know? John wasn't the best husband to begin with and wasn't the best father but even though this is to his second wife Yoko, he was making up for what he did, admitting his mistakes. This is the sort of thing every man ought to do. But it's not only the men who are guilty. Women are too. I am too.
So...
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I'm sorry that I made you cry.
I didn't want to hurt you.
I'm just a jealous girl.
If you could ever find it in your heart to understand I'm just going through some emotions right now, I'm truly sorry. I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. You are my best friend, and I have come to realize, I don't think I could live without you. I could never, ever hate you. You are and always will be, Sweetness to me.
Debbie
Now other than playing Twilight Princess and apologizing to all the innocent chickens (cocaos or whatever if you get techinical about Zelda) and start singing off key "I didn't mean to hurt you!" This is a beautiful song in it's entirety.
The first time I heard this song, I remember I was sitting in the back of my dad's scion when he was taking me to my mother's one night. He had taken out the front seat so he could clean it, so there was no way I could sit in the front, unless I had sat on the floor of the car. Dangerous. Anywho, my dad was playing John Lennon's Imagine album which at the time, I had never gotten to listen to so this was an opportunity for me. I had only heard Imagine so you can Imagine what it must have been like for me to hear some of the other songs (see what I did there? no, wait...nevermind...) Some of the songs were okay. I don't remember them. But then Jealous Guy came on.
I can't remember if there were any tears shed or not that night. But I do remember feeling a great deal of sadness and heartbreak. Feeling it for my family who have been through hardships and heartbreaks of heir own, my friends and their heartbreaks and lastly....my own. It was then I saw why and how beautiful this song really was.
Tonight I feel a bit sad and down. And I listened to this song. and in a way...it reassures me that I wasn't the only one who made a foolish mistake in a relationship, ya know? John wasn't the best husband to begin with and wasn't the best father but even though this is to his second wife Yoko, he was making up for what he did, admitting his mistakes. This is the sort of thing every man ought to do. But it's not only the men who are guilty. Women are too. I am too.
So...
I didn't mean to hurt you.
I'm sorry that I made you cry.
I didn't want to hurt you.
I'm just a jealous girl.
If you could ever find it in your heart to understand I'm just going through some emotions right now, I'm truly sorry. I love you so much and I don't want to lose you. You are my best friend, and I have come to realize, I don't think I could live without you. I could never, ever hate you. You are and always will be, Sweetness to me.
Debbie
Thursday, February 9, 2012
VCR
It's February. I've been sick. Sinus infection or allergies, cold or flu, I don't know and I don't really care. I just want to get better. I've been feeling miserable.
A few days ago I arrived at my mom's house early in the morning. My mom had gone to work and her husband was asleep in bed. I was left to go to sleep or browse the internet, whatever my choice. I was feeling miserable. I was in a worse stage of my feeling like crap so I mostly wanted to sleep. I couldn't though. I was kind of hungry.
As always, my mother never really has things I find appetizing. I don't mean to be picky but come on, tv dinners? stupid health beneficial drinks? chocolate breakfast bars? No thank you. (yes, I skip on on the chocolate. actually those bars in particular hurt my teeth. they are hard to chew.)
Finding nothing and kind of disappointed, I turned to my refrigerator like most hopeless, idiots do when they think food will suddenly appear there. There was something however that I missed the first time that I checked it. A box of strawberries. Deep, red and so sweet looking. "I think I'll have one and head to bed." I took the box and opened it, got the most delicious one I spotted and washed it and took a bite. The sweetness of this strawberry made me feel so alive. Better than I had been. I didn't go to bed like I said. I took another strawberry and had more of these scrumptious beauties. They brought me so much comfort that I needed. and then I went to bed. and I slept, a restful sleep. Since then whenever I was feeling cruddy, I went downstairs and got me a few strawberries to make me feel better.
Lately I've been getting into this band called The Xx. and this song got in my head tonight. I kind of need a little bit of hope. a little bit of comfort. I want more strawberries. Tonight, this is my strawberry. This song kind of brings me the same feeling of relief and comfort that I needed that one morning. I didn't expect this but...for now, I need a strawberry.
They are so beautiful.
A few days ago I arrived at my mom's house early in the morning. My mom had gone to work and her husband was asleep in bed. I was left to go to sleep or browse the internet, whatever my choice. I was feeling miserable. I was in a worse stage of my feeling like crap so I mostly wanted to sleep. I couldn't though. I was kind of hungry.
As always, my mother never really has things I find appetizing. I don't mean to be picky but come on, tv dinners? stupid health beneficial drinks? chocolate breakfast bars? No thank you. (yes, I skip on on the chocolate. actually those bars in particular hurt my teeth. they are hard to chew.)
Finding nothing and kind of disappointed, I turned to my refrigerator like most hopeless, idiots do when they think food will suddenly appear there. There was something however that I missed the first time that I checked it. A box of strawberries. Deep, red and so sweet looking. "I think I'll have one and head to bed." I took the box and opened it, got the most delicious one I spotted and washed it and took a bite. The sweetness of this strawberry made me feel so alive. Better than I had been. I didn't go to bed like I said. I took another strawberry and had more of these scrumptious beauties. They brought me so much comfort that I needed. and then I went to bed. and I slept, a restful sleep. Since then whenever I was feeling cruddy, I went downstairs and got me a few strawberries to make me feel better.
Lately I've been getting into this band called The Xx. and this song got in my head tonight. I kind of need a little bit of hope. a little bit of comfort. I want more strawberries. Tonight, this is my strawberry. This song kind of brings me the same feeling of relief and comfort that I needed that one morning. I didn't expect this but...for now, I need a strawberry.
They are so beautiful.
Monday, January 30, 2012
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