10 Years Ago Today

Today while browsing Reddit, I came across a little something I needed to be reminded of.

10 years ago today, George Harrison died.

I remember that day too. I remember waking up at the foot of my parents bed (my room was in the making, for we had just moved) and the television was on. It was all over the news. My parents being the big Beatles fans they are, had to television set to watch what all they had to say about the late George Harrison.

At the time, he wasn't my favorite Beatle. At the time, I didn't even know all their names. I know them now...I love them always, and George has slowly become my favorite out of the Fab Four.

I guess the reason why I love George the most is because he was quiet, and said what he needed to say at the right time. The Quiet Beatle. He was dedicated to his religion, his wife and family, and his music. Perhaps he wasn't the best musician on his own but he was part of what made The Beatles, The Beatles. Without him, there wouldn't have been The Beatles. And the same goes for John. and Paul. and Ringo. They all filled in their time with The Beatles and made music history. I don't think we would have a lot of the bands and artists that we have today if it were not for the influence of The Beatles. I am forever indebted to The Beatles, and the four individuals that made it. Here's to George.

Patterns by Stacy Clark

While everyone has been at home and out and about preparing for what was Thanksgiving and now for Christmas, individuals around the world have been anticipating other things. For Indie artist, Stacy Clark, it was her third official album Patterns. Patterns came out November 22, from record label One Small Instrument Records.

From what I have heard of Clark in the past, I have loved what I have heard. The very first song I heard by her was "Empty Bottles" (featuring Aaron Marsh) on her second album, Apples & Oranges. With her new album, I was left completely awestruck. In every song, her voice is angelic in many different ways. My particular favorites were "Lose My Mind" and "Decimals and Music Notes." One thing that I found surprising was how short the album is. Still very good, all in all. One thing I cannot help when listening to this album, is how much it reminds me of State's Line 'Em Up EP. I cannot figure out why they remind me of each other but they do. I've read elsewhere where she is related most to musicians like Björk, Death Cab For Cutie, and Regina Spektor. She has an ingenius and harmonious sound.

In any case, if you are looking for some new music, I most definitely recommend this album. And of course, check out her past albums and EPs. Each and every song carries with it a new surprise with Clark's evolving voice. I believe this is what many people need to listen to, to truly appreciate many kinds of music. I think Stacy Clark has done a good job at showing off her musical skills. Keep up the good work and continue writing new and creative music. Everyone, go give her a listen!

Check her out here:

www.facebook.com/stacyclarkmusic

www.twitter.com/stacyclark

www.youtube.com/stacyclarkmusic

www.myspace.com/stacyclark

There Goes The Fear Again

Here's another one of those hopeful songs. Whether what I'm feeling now is a false hope or genuine or not, I will never be too sure of until sometime in the future. I want this to be a good hope. The best kind of hope there can be.

I first heard this song from the movie 500 Days of Summer. The scene where Summer and Tom are running and fooling around through Ikea is where I first heard this beautiful song. I had heard of Doves before however. From a different soundtrack. but from a book. that's for another time though.

I thought this song was always very bright and cheerful. As if, it is actually okay to go out and have fun and be random. It reassures me I can be a child anytime I like. Not immature...childlike. Having fun. I don't think adults even try to have fun anymore. Or in any case, they don't see how doing something they've never done before can be fun. Doing something they think would be embarrassing. Adults sicken me sometimes, with their high morals and strict rules.

In any case, one thing i've always wanted to do...but I know would probably be illegal and probably be dangerous...is at night, on the high way, stick half my body out the window while blasting this song. Reaching my hands to the blasting, cold winds and feeling my hair flap in the wind...it seems to me it would be the best feeling in the world. I'm going to one day. The only reason why I haven't is because I want people to know my plan before I do it.

This had been a secret for years. The first person I told was my dad. and it was only the other night.

Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring

I remember vaguely receiving two burnt CDs from my uncle in Texas. One was of a variety of music composed of different artists called Waldo. the other...Apollo 100. Both at the time...struck me inside. There is a deep, deep chasm in me...that I hide most of the time. and I'm beginning to think that the deepest of my hopes and the deepest of my joys lie there.

I certainly do believe there is a large difference between "Happiness" and "Joy." One only last for a few minutes. The other...lasts a forever.

Happiness is the moment you hear a good joke and laugh. When you're told good news. Everything seems fine right then and there. But then things crash down. I fear that most. I think everyone does.

Joy...can't be described sometimes. Joy is different though. Very, very different. It hits you. But only from time to time. From what I have read of Surprised By Joy by C. S. Lewis, he talks about how suddenly he feels a "rush" or "surge" of something good. He doesn't know what but he laters figures out...it's Joy. Sometimes nothing good or bad will be happening, and Joy can hit you. I don't think Joy leaves us. It's somewhere in us, all the time.

When I listen to this song, I get somewhat a surge of this "joy." Sometimes I feel romantic or think romantic thoughts to this song but really...I think it's joy that I feel. I'm thinking about that moment that I've been waiting for when I will have, not just great happiness, but joy eternally. It's odd really. To describe to you what this "joy" is. But, like love, I think you know it when you feel it. It's there though. I know it is.

Books & My Poor Reading Habits.

Okay...I need some opinions.

did anyone read my blog about books and reading and such? (Day 3 I believe. Go read it) Does anyone remember that quote I shared by C. S. Lewis about reading an old book before I start a new one? I've been thinking about it...and I'm not sure if he was talking about a book I had read before or just an older book that was written a lot earlier than books like Twilight (bleh DX) and things like that.

I have a long list of books to read. and I really, really, really want to get out of my bad habit of picking up a book, starting the first page, setting down the book, and not read it again until a very long time. but I still want to go by Lewis' rule. I'm just not sure where to start.

Here's some books, I have NOT read, yet I want to read:

Surprised By Joy (C. S. Lewis) (1955)

The Hobbit (J. R. R. Tolkien) (1937)

Here are some books I've considered to read again, but don't have any interest in reading right now:

Till We Have Faces (C. S. Lewis) (1956)

A Greif Observed (C. S. Lewis) (1961)

The Princess and The Goblin (George MacDonald) (1872)

The Princess and Curdie (George MacDonald (1883)

The Great Divorce (C. S. Lewis) (1945)

The Orphaned Anything's (Stephen Christian) (2008) (Couldn't read this one if I wanted because I let someone borrow it and they have not returned it.) :( I want my book back.

Books I've started and I need to finish. (The ones I really want to read and haven't yet are in this list as well.)

Surprised By Joy (C. S. Lewis) (1955)

The Hobbit (J. R. R. Tolkien) (1937)

Catching Fire (Suzanne Collins) (2009)

Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Capture (Kathryn Lasky) (2003)

At The Back of The North Wind (George MacDonald) (1871)

Phantastes (George MacDonald) (1858) (this one I am almost done with. But I think I'd need to restart it to refresh my memory.)

The Light Princess & Other Fantasy Stories (George MacDonald) (1864) (probably some other years because it has a series of other stories in it. At least the book I have does)

In any case, please let me know your opinions, whether it be through a Facebook message or comment or here in the blog comments. Please, do let me know. It would help out A LOT.

All Right

It's a cold, rainy day. I just got finished snacking on some toast and drinking tea. I took a shower once I woke up and am not somewhat cold but the tea has been warming me. Which makes this even more pleasant.

Once I got online, I had IMs from both my friend Brittany and my dad. My dad shared with me a movie clip I had not seen in a long time. From the movie called, Bright Star. It's about a poet whose name was John Keats. He shares a romance with a girl. I forget how the story goes but...I'm planning to find it again and watch it. It was a sad film. But I like sad films. Even with what seems like bad endings.

That thought takes me back to the first moment I realized that films could even have bad endings. I was young, I thought that all films had happy endings. I remember one day, sitting with my mother while she watched a film about a queen and the queen's romance with a bodyguard of hers. I forget the name of the movie, but I remember how it ended. The bodyguard had died to save her life. I looked at my mother in disbelief and asked, "He died?" "Yup," my mother responded, "Sometimes there aren't any happy endings." I thought long and hard about it afterwards. It struck me odd that things like that even happened. I know now...they do. But then I was very young. I'm still thinking to this very day.

As for Bright Star...I came across another fan made youtube video of some clips from it. and I song I actually know. and find quite fitting to this wet day.

In one of my previous blogs, I have mentioned a band called Sigur Rós. They are an Icelandic band who made up their own language for their music. It all sounds like "gibberish" (as Aaron Marsh states in an interview) but the music is far beyond belief. It's like magic. I have always found this song to be quite comforting.

I watched once a documentary of the band on youtube. It talked about the band, the music, the language, the fans, the people...and the land. Oh, so many clips were shown of Iceland. and I saw how cold it looked. and I saw the contentment on the people's faces. They were home. It was cold, it was wet, but it's their home and they are happy with it. Nothing more. That is what makes a country beautiful to me. and one day, I want to go to Iceland.

Sigur Rós is not the first band I've come across from Iceland. Múm and Björk are two others. I have yet to find many more if there are any. But I find Icelandic music to be very creative, even if some of the songs are long going. They hold beauty in their hands when they pick up an instrument.

Head of the Hawk

Up and down, up and down. My dad reminds me that life is like a roller coaster. But to enjoy it while it all lasts.

I remember watching this video and thinking, "HIPSTERS," and then realizing, "wait..."

But honestly, I'm kind of jealous of these teens, young adults, whatever age group they lie in (I sure hope they're not senior citizens.) They're having fun. They're being ridiculous. They're doing something that is mostly looked down upon by adults. They're saying YES to life. (<-- I think I got this from Yes Man. Love that movie.)

I fell in love with the song (ironically, yes) only a few weeks ago. I heard it from this video. It made me think of hopeful things. Like things were getting better and better and better.

Although sometimes I hesitate to listen to hopeful songs. Especially when I think things are starting to get shitty. I think that's bull crap on my part. Because I deserve to listen to happy songs when I get them in my head, even if they do give me a false feeling. I still struggle listening to other songs as well because I feel that way still. and sometimes....it's true.

In any case, more hipster bands coming your way. :D

Day 5

I skipped another day, I know. I'm going to do that as often as I like. Plus, it partly wasn't my fault, it was the fault of writer's block >_>

Day 5

5 things (you think) you can't live without.

1. Music is the number one. Always has been, always will be.

2. My family. not only blood related family, but I mean my friends as well. I think you're family should be the people you spend the most time with and the people you love. I love my friends and spend a lot of time with them so they are my family. I even call some my children. and some sisters and brothers. We have a whole family system of sorts XD (also my pets count)

3. Technology. (I decided to round up all my favorite electronics into one word XD) my MacBook, my iPad, my iPod, Wii, Playstation 2, Gamecube, my crappy pc which I never use :D, and probably some other things I'm forgetting to list.

4. the essentials. Air, food, water, etc. You could even say Life if you wanted to. I do know I appreciate it more than I ever have in my entire life, yet.

5. Love. Honestly, where would I be without love. I don't mean romantic love, I mean Love in general. I wouldn't have all the things above if it were not for Love. Love has always kept me going. Somehow, someway, it's always there even when I don't see it or expect it to be there. I wish I could love Love, like Love loves me.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

I could not resist myself. :D

La Valse D'Amelie

Listening to the fire crackle in my dad's wood stove is the most comforting sound to hear when you've had a long, stressful, disappointing day. I've been thinking about Winter and some of my past Winters.

I've been meaning to test out the entertainment center since my dad finally hooked up the speakers and I haven't had the chance to. The movie i've been planning to watch is a French movie called Amelie. I might watch it tomorrow but I did get in the mood for a song that's off it's soundtrack.

this with the crackling fire, makes me feel somewhat better. I've been so down and out today. and things don't look so good for my friends. I'm so broken hearted at the moment.

It's warmish tonight. my lower back is killing me. I cannot wait for it to be tomorrow. I just want to be alone for now.

I'm not very encouraging tonight, am I?

Day 4

What a stressful day :/

Day 4

Write about the music you listen to.

Music...is always there and always will be there for me when I need it most. Unless I'm deaf. It is at this point, however, if that should happen to me and there is no way of fixing my hearing, I will commit suicide because I don't think I could go a day without music. Music makes me cry, laugh, smile, think, angry...it's real. And it's a comfort to know that sometimes I'm not the only one who feels a certain way at a certain time. Without music, I wouldn't be who I am today. I have written somewhere before, if music were human, then I'd be it's wife. Assuming it'd be a he. I'm straight. But let's not get into that... XD

I have a whole list of bands and artists I could name, that I truly adore and love listening to. and only very few actual favorites. My taste varies mostly on songs than on genre. But if anyone should ask, I always say I don't really prefer rap, country, bluegrass, and gospel. Although I have been known to like maybe a song or two from these genres.

Here are a few bands/artists I find genuinely worth "gold" to me.

1. Copeland

2. Foster The People

3. The Beatles

4. Anchor & Braille

5. Gorillaz

6. Radiohead

7. Nat King Cole

8. Phil Keaggy

These I kind of put in an order.the top three are the main ones in order. the rest I prefer a lot of their music.

I listen to a lot of new artists. If you haven't noticed, the title of this blog is called "Hipster Thoughts." I don't think I'm better than anybody. but I do listen to a lot of unknown artists. and I dislike some mainstream. XD I'm called a hipster all the time so I just go along with it now. I do think a lot of people are missing out though. but then again I'm glad no one listens to the same music as me because that means it's all to myself :D haha.

I get a lot of recommendations on bands and artists. I love it when people have me listen to new music. My only problem with this however...is they expect me to listen to it right away and they expect me to like it, right then and there. I can't do that XD Sometimes I'll like a song on the first hearing but it takes me time. and as for actually getting to listen to the artist...give me time on that. Sometimes I've got to be in the mood for new music. Sometimes at the end of the day, I just want to sit down and listen to my own music. If I'm not in the mood for new music, I won't like it as much. So give me time. and the magic will do it's work. I keep in mind all sorts of bands my friends have introduced me to. or I try to. There is a lot of new artists out there after all.

Music is part of what inspires me to write. I don't think I would have half of the poems I have today if it were not for music. I even tried to make an autobiography called, Sing For You (I've not published it nor will I. It's kind of one of my more embarrassing pieces of works now.) where I put to each chapter a song to go with that chapter. I had all sorts of songs for that book.

Another thing about music that I like so much is that I like to learn the history behind some songs and the band or artist. I like to learn about why the music came to be. What's the story behind the song? What's the artist's story? I also like sharing what I learn with my friends, Brittany, Austin and my dad or any other music loving friends I have. They introduce to me and I introduce to them. It's kind of like a club almost.

So I suppose to finish things up I'll finish with a song and a little piece of information I learned about the song. As I mentioned earlier, I'm called a hipster, especially around these parts. Well...I was introduced to a band that I am now in love with called Foster The People. Their most popular song that's been out recently is called Pumped Up Kicks. (not to say the information I read was valid, I read it on wikipedia. by the way, I don't have a clue how to give wikipedia credit it for it so don't hate on me.) that the song was written as a "fuck you" to the hipsters. and then it turns out, hipsters everywhere are dancing to the song. it's also about homicide. But...I like the idea about the hipsters a lot better. XD

so here it is, the Pumped Up Kicks.

The Cure For Pain

I woke up yesterday to my dad kissing me on the forehead. Anytime I sleep on the couch, this has always been his routine. I had also asked him to wake me up before he left so this was him waking me up.

I didn't immediately get up. I just laid there for awhile. I stared and watched as the light from outside tried to seep in from whatever cracks and crannies and windows we had. I always keep it dark in the living room. I just always like it that way. I feel safer.

This song came into my head. I was just lying there and thinking and everything came flooding to me that I would be okay.

If anyone has heard of Switchfoot or is a big fan, I think you will know who Jon Foreman is. A few years back, I remember hearing about how Jon Foreman was coming out with a series of albums that went along with the seasons. I had wanted these but never got to buy them. Money was always scarce for me then. and normally my policy back then when I bought an album was that I needed to at least have heard of two or more songs and like them if I wanted to buy an album. this past year...I finally got ahold of them. and I only let myself listen to the album that goes with the season it currently is. and I have forgotten to do that with Spring and Summer and Winter but I did it with Fall. and I remember this song. and I couldn't help thinking how beautiful it is. It's encouraging to me. It lets me know I'm not the only one struggling.

I know I've only talked about how certain songs reassure me but I guess the reason why I've been doing that is because I just want people to find as much reassurance and comfort as I have. I still stumble with my troubles and worries but so far music has been the number one thing that keeps me going. Certain songs especially. and I want to share with someone some hope. and I'm going to keep doing that.

Day 3

So I missed a day. sorry about that...anywho, i'll just pick up from where I left off and go on with this like nothing happened. XP

Day 3

Write about your favorite books, magazines, etc. (anything you read)

I have to admit, I don't read as often as I would like to read. I am a poor reader. I get a book, start the first page, and with any luck at all, finish the 1st chapter and put down the book and never pick it up again. I have to have a books catch my interest in order for me to finish it. and very few books have done that. If I try to finish a book by forcing myself to read, I fall asleep with my eyes open while I skim through the last chapters. Don't ask me how that's possible, it just is with me. So if anyone recommends to me a book or lets me borrow one, don't think I'll read it just like that. just tell me to find it in my own time and if I decide I want to read out of the blue, I will. My mind is strange sometimes. But again, I have to have a really interesting book steal my attentions. And only I can find out for myself how interesting it is. You can recommend to me a book to read that's like some other book I read and is a lot like it but I doubt I'll read it because, I might be afraid it doesn't have the same taste as the one I read. But enough about my confusing reading habits. Here's a few favorites of mine that I've actually read without sleeping through.

1. Till We Have Faces by C. S. Lewis

2. The Orphaned Anything's by Stephen Christian

3. Enthusiasm by Polly Shulman.

4. The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins (only the first one, I've yet to read the rest of the series)

5. The Magician's Nephew by C. S. Lewis

6. The Princess and the Goblin by George MacDonald

7. The Princess and Curdie by George MacDonald

8. A Grief Observed by C. S. Lewis

And there are probably some others I'm forgetting but this is enough for now.

Believe me, I have read more than this without falling asleep. Like I said, however, it's story has to appeal to me. I'm also kind of a picky reader as well. but my mother tells me it's good to be picky sometimes. so here, I believe this is good for me to be.

At the moment, of course, never really finishing or working on finishing any of the books, I have currently started a few. One book in particular I'm eager to finish is Surprised By Joy by C. S. Lewis. Somewhat his auto-biography. and the only reason why I've not finished it is because of a quote I read somewhere by C. S. Lewis. I can't remember exactly how it went but it went along the lines that, before you start a new book, read an old book in between. I don't know if he meant to read an older book or just a book you've read before. I like the idea of reading one I've read before. In any case, I go by that rule. and I barely started Surprised By Joy when i remembered that. and so...I've been meaning to start Till We Have Faces again. One book that has been, and always will be, a favorite of mine.

If anyone couldn't tell already, C. S. Lewis is one of my heroes. I have not read all his books but from what I have read, (various quotes, Shadowlands, documentaries, etc.) I find him to have been one of the rarest found sensible men to have existed in this world. (I think I put that correctly) He admits his mistakes, explains them, and explains how he feels about them and shares the experiences he has had with God or whatever else he shares it with. He's a Christian but he's not the kind of Christian who puts you down. He told you like it was, Christian or non-Christian. In fact, he drank. He went to old pubs with his friends and talked about books and smoked pipes and just talked. Shared. was human. I like that idea very, very much indeed.

In any case, I like these books, feel free to check them out at your leisure. and I hope i can read more of your recommendations as well.

The Boy With the Arab Strap

I was just sitting around uploading owl pictures when a particular song I hadn't listened to in awhile popped into my head. I normally haven't listened to it willingly because the song reminded me of something good. a moment I had. it was too good. too good to be true. (i hate that phrase) the song brings out a certain positiveness that somewhat scares me in a way. But...I got in the mood to listen to it.

I first heard of this song through the movie 500 Days of Summer. (if you've not seen it, i recommend it. you'll hear me say that a lot.) The song was not in the soundtrack of the film but it was mentioned. and my curiosity got the best of me. The soundtrack of the film is phenomenal. so i figured...I should look up that song they mentioned. and i loved it.

the moment i had with this song is a bit embarrassing. but I'm going to share it anyways. and i've never really told anyone this so...hope you appreciate what I have to say. During the month of April was I recovering from some very severe depression. I was learning to be happy, or "content" again. It was a difficult process. I somewhat made it. In any case...there was one day I had made plans with some friends. So that morning, I showered like I always do. Every time i shower i make this habit to listen to my iPad or iPod. I make a playlist and put it on shuffle and get cleaned up. the very last song that came on after I got out of the shower was this particular song. I believe at the time I was thinking..."I deserve to be happy. I can be happy if I want to. I will have fun and be happy. and I will listen to happy music." so after I dressed, i was still trying to dry my hair but...when this song came on, I was dancing. I was just spinning around and around. I was laughing. I was enjoying my time alone. my solitude. and I let all the sorrows and anger I had go. by just spinning. and i thought of this one line from a different song by a band called Sigur Ros. "The whole world a blur. but you are standing."

as odd as it is to listen to one song and refer to another in one's mind, it makes sense. at least to me. I'm an odd thinker. or so I've been told.

Waste

Here's another song that whenever I'm down and out, it gets me back on my feet. Or it comforts me. Like being a child and sitting by yourself and suddenly someone, a close friend comes and lifts your chin to their face. a smile. wipe a tear if there is one. taking a hand and following. and then...arms wide open.

I was introduced to Foster The People by one of my dearest and closest best friends. She is almost like a sister to me. We share and talk about music. We have somewhat of the same taste. She introduced this to me during the Summer of 2011. At the time I had been struggling with a few things and I had also recently got Minecraft. She recommended to me to get the entire album and so I did, and while I played Minecraft, this was my Minecraft album. Torches. All the songs appealed to me. There was one I fell madly in love with but this one isn't it. This one, by accident, became a favorite. "The Devil's on your back but I know you can shake him off..." this line always struck out to me. and I felt reassured to pick myself up, brush my shoulders off, and move along.

It's whenever I begin to worry or fret or stress, I just want some sort of reassurance that I'm not going to be alone. This song makes me feel like I won't be. I mean, there are many other songs that make me feel this way but there's a certain freedom about this one. a certain Truth. I'm not at liberty to speak my mind about it but I do know I dearly appreciate having heard of this song and this band and this entire album. The album is Gold by the way. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants some Indie Rock in their tunes.

thanks Solo Baby :)

Hillbilly Man

When I've had a rough day or think things are going bad...I sometimes don't know where else to turn to. Except the sun. and...music.

I remember I had started my first job and had started listening to The Fall by Gorillaz around the same time. and i had the beginning of this song stuck in my head as I would work. anytime I took a break, I would look at the sunset and remember the sweet sound of the beginning. I would always get so scared or worried about things..."what's going to happen now?" "I hope this happens...I bet it won't..." then I play just the beginning of this song and I'm somewhat okay. It's the firm reminder to just enjoy music. Let music be there for me when I'm hurt. or lost.

Whenever i listen to the beginning of this song, i'm reminded of when i went to work. I kind of miss those days. and it was before...then...that things were at peace. Nothing was happening. I was me and the world was the world. and I didn't think too much about the things I have to think about now.

Thank God for music. Thank God. I wouldn't be here without it's help.

Day 2

Day 2

Write about your favorite movie(s)

I have a ton of favorites honestly. and I have a bad habit of quoting movie lines through out my social life. "oh, hello grandfather!", "Oh that this too-too solid flesh would melt...ZAP!", and "I know what's good for you..." weird things. all sorts of them. Wouldn't make any sense unless you watched some of these movies.

I will list off...maybe 10 or 15 favorite movies of mine. not sure...if i have more, it's likely because there's a bunch. XD

1. Shadowlands

2. Amelie

3. A Hard Day's Night

4. Yellow Submarine

5. Monty Python and the Holy Grail

6. Napoleon Dynamite

7. Legend of the Guardians

8. The Lake House

9. Stardust Memories

10. Help!

11. 500 Days of Summer

12. Prince Caspian

13. Benny and Joon

14. Austin Powers

15. Juno

this is in no particular order. but the first one does count as my top favorite movie. Shadowlands is about my favorite writer, C. S. Lewis and the woman he meets, falls in love with and loses due to cancer. Her name was Joy. and it has made me cry many a time. sometimes I watch the movie just to cry. I used to have this habit of where, (back when i painted my nails black, I don't anymore) whenever I would repaint my nails, i would watch the movie. I would bawl my eyes out. and then whenever i wasn't watching the movie, i'd think back to when I would cry so much and laugh at myself. I haven't watched it in awhile lately cause I haven't felt like crying. but it is a good movie, none the less. i highly recommend it to anyone. Especially if you are someone who likes movies that make you think. I like movies that make me think. or laugh. or cry. i'm kind of picky with my movies, even when i watch them.

House of Cards

I woke up around 12:20ish today. "What kind of person is awake around now?" and I have to tell myself this anytime I ask myself that... "umm...Normal people. Unlike you."

when I woke up I had this sudden craving for Japanese food. Sesame chicken with rice. so good...i craved it so much that I went downstairs and fixed myself some mac and cheese. I make a lot of sense. there is nothing ever good to eat in this house.

I noticed it was fairly quiet in the house. my mom is at work, and her husband, I have no idea where he is. but no one's here. I'm used to being alone. I looked outside to see grey skies. Most people would hate days like these. thinking they are dreary and melancholy. I quite like it. I like different things for different reasons. I even noticed it wasn't that cold outside. It being November, I had expected it to be at least so cold, I needed shoes. I didn't need them.

Silence and solitude go hand in hand. While i waited and occasionally watched my macaroni cook, I sang these words.... "Forget about your house of cards and I'll do mine..."

This song holds sentimental value to me. I cannot tell you what because that would be going into way too much detail than one needs to know. in other words, I'm not about to let you know what goes through my head. but I will tell you what this song reminds me of.

In the Summer of 2010, I took a 20 day trip to Australia. At the time of when I left I was going through a difficult time for my grandmother on my father's side had died. I did not really know her well but I knew my father and I knew...that it was a struggling time for him. So I spent my trip being somewhat homesick and worried about my father.

I remember we spent a great deal of time on our tour bus. I remember the smell of it was sweet. I found it pleasant. and it was on this tour bus, I listened mostly to my iPod.

I cannot remember what day it was or where we were going but I think it had been one of the days we were only on the tour bus the entire day. I think we may have left our home stay families or were on our way to see them. I remember I had a seat next to the window. and we passed...what looked like a large cliff in the middle of nowhere. All made of red rock. Everywhere else was flat. it was sunset so the sun and the red of the rock were bright. and passing by it, this song came on. and it felt like a large echo. a comforting echo. Every time I listen to this song, I think of that time. and of course, the trip home as well.

On the plane flight back home, it was a 14 hour trip. Our plane was blessed to have a small tv set on the back of every seat for every passenger's entertainment. We could play games, watch movies, and...listen to music. There were only a few things I found in the music section that appealed to my liking. and one of them...was In Rainbows by Radiohead.

I remember setting it on this album and on House of Cards (at the time, I had only heard of two songs off the album) and looking at everything about the plane. It was dark. Everyone was either asleep or watching a movie. and I thought about...how quiet it all seemed. we weren't home and we weren't in Australia any longer. we were just here, on the plane. out, above the open ocean. I had been eager to be home but I also didn't want to leave as well. but I was here. no where else. and it was quiet. and it was dark.

I fell asleep. and rested peacefully. listening to this song.

that was the most restful sleep I've ever had in my life.

You Can Be The Boss

Lately I've had this bad habit of being sleepy and yet still some how manage to stay up until 4 in the morning. and in that time...I get bored. Unless I'm playing a game or talking to somebody. but I listen to a lot of music most of the time. so...what I will be doing is whenever I have a particular song on my mind or have found a new song to listen to and wear out, I'll share it here and what it reminds me of and whatnot.

the first song I will share with you, the artist's voice has been stuck in my head FOR TOO FUCKING LONG. XD

I normally don't dig female artists. I like a few. and the reason why I have not liked very many is, I used to be very jealous of really good female singers. I love to sing. and I wish I had a beautiful voice like some girls do. I even went for lessons and that didn't go as planned. but sometimes I would hate particular female artists just because I was jealous at how good they sang. I came up with all sorts of lame excuses. XD in any case...with her...I am jealous. even now, when I don't even have any interest to become a singer. But I cannot deny she has a good voice and sound. and it's addicting. to the point it's driving me nuts. and it's not been just this song either. Two other songs along with this one. If you want to further drive yourself nuts, listen to "Diet Mtn Dew," and "Video Games." So hopefully...soon her voice will leave my poor brain and I can find something else to listen to.

It's too catchy... DX

Day 1

To start things off, anyone who views this, I'm Deborah. Debbie or Dobs is fine by me. I've been writing blogs for awhile now (private blogs) but I decided to bring out to the open some different thoughts of mine. these blogs will consist of music, challenges (for myself) and random thoughts I feel the need to express and perhaps other things I'm forgetting. I contradict myself and make mistakes like everyone else does. I'm not looking for feedback, unless it's positive or just an opinion. As for my person, I can be humorous and maybe even a little blunt and mean sometimes. Or more. I'm not too sure. and I don't really care. I will tell you how it is. I'm not going to hold back anymore. In any case, to start things off with this blog, I had been doing Facebook surveys lately and found a site where I found some good ones, along with some 30 Day Challenges. I quite miss doing that so that is what I will be doing with this new blog. I will not post what the each day has in store but I will title each day as necessary. Now...to get started.

Day 1

Write 30 facts about yourself.

1. I'm short. 4'11.

2. People think i'm a hipster.

3. I like owls.

4. In love with music.

5. My favorite candy bar is Butterfingers. (might change)

6. I wear thick rim, PRESCRIPTION glasses.

7. I want to go to Europe one day.

8. My favorite writer is C. S. Lewis.

9. I enjoy meeting people, as long as they're cool with me, I'm cool with them.

10. I'm a Universalist.

11. I own a Macbook.

12.  I write poetry. No, I won't show any of my poetry on here.

13. My favorite soda is Dr. Pepper.

14. I drink tea. Unlike many young adults these days, I enjoy it. (like hot tea)

15. I'm old fashioned. I even say I'm old sometimes even though I'm still young.

16. I own a turntable and have an obsession for vinyl records.

17. I have a twitter. I freaking love it.

18. I cuss.

19. I'm perverted. Not a pervert however.

20. I have a strange obsession with collecting rings.

21. When I sneeze, I'm still making sounds afterwards.

22. I purposely like to sit around my house and think. It's refreshing.

23. I can't spell worth a darn sometimes. Or use correct punctuation. Forgive me. I try.

24. Carmex is my best friend.

25. I really like the colors red and grey.

26. I own three cats. Mitzi, Jojo, and Rita. Rita has thumbs :O

27. I watch people. People watch. 

28. I will go insane if I don't have any nail clippers handy.

29. I talk to myself. I even share inside jokes with myself. 

30. I strongly dislike wasps and ladybugs.