Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring

I remember vaguely receiving two burnt CDs from my uncle in Texas. One was of a variety of music composed of different artists called Waldo. the other...Apollo 100. Both at the time...struck me inside. There is a deep, deep chasm in me...that I hide most of the time. and I'm beginning to think that the deepest of my hopes and the deepest of my joys lie there.

I certainly do believe there is a large difference between "Happiness" and "Joy." One only last for a few minutes. The other...lasts a forever.

Happiness is the moment you hear a good joke and laugh. When you're told good news. Everything seems fine right then and there. But then things crash down. I fear that most. I think everyone does.

Joy...can't be described sometimes. Joy is different though. Very, very different. It hits you. But only from time to time. From what I have read of Surprised By Joy by C. S. Lewis, he talks about how suddenly he feels a "rush" or "surge" of something good. He doesn't know what but he laters figures out...it's Joy. Sometimes nothing good or bad will be happening, and Joy can hit you. I don't think Joy leaves us. It's somewhere in us, all the time.

When I listen to this song, I get somewhat a surge of this "joy." Sometimes I feel romantic or think romantic thoughts to this song but really...I think it's joy that I feel. I'm thinking about that moment that I've been waiting for when I will have, not just great happiness, but joy eternally. It's odd really. To describe to you what this "joy" is. But, like love, I think you know it when you feel it. It's there though. I know it is.